Resources for Partners of Transgender People

Crossdreamer and transgender resource directory

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When I found out my husband is a woman inside, I started googling. I wanted to find information for people who have a transgender spouse, forums with support for partners of transgender people and stories of couples that had found a way to make it work. Here is what I have found.

When the one you love is trans. Image by Kannaa.

By Sally Molay

Blogs

• She Was the Man of My Dreams (About the male-to-female transgender experience from a spouse’s perspective.)
• enGender/My Husband Betty (Helen Boyd's journal of gender & trans issues.) 
• Accidentally Gay (By a man in a same sex marriage after his wife transitioned to man.)

Forums

• TransFamily 
• Spouses of Transgender Community Group
• Engender_Family
• The My Husband Betty Forum
• Spouses of Transgender
• Mypartneristrans (on Reddit)
• Soffa Trans (on Facebook)

Videos

• MtF partner speaking of love and coming out
• The TMates (Mostly concentrated on being a partner of someone who is Transgender This is a place for support and place to feel like you belong.)
• FtM Partner (A vlog on the life of an FTM's partner.)
• Trans Partner: Gender & Relationship (Interview with Betty Crow and Helen Boyd by Gender Vision. (starts at 7 min). Also available as a DVD.

Organizations

• Straight Spouse Network (an international organization that provides personal, confidential support and information to heterosexual spouses/partners, current or former, of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender mates and mixed-orientation or transgender/non-transgender couples for constructively resolving coming-out problems.)
• PFLAG (Parents, friends, families and allies of LGBT people.)

Stories

•  15 Spouses of Transgender People On How Their Relationship Changed After Transition
• Trans Woman And Her Husband Did A Photo Shoot That Will Make You Believe In Love All Over Again 
• My Experiences As A Straight Cis Man Engaged To A Straight Trans Woman
• My Son Became My Daugher — and Then My Husband Became My Wife
• She loved her husband. Could she love her transgender wife?
• When I Told My Wife I Was Transgender, Our Whole Marriage Had To Change
• I’m So Glad My Husband Told Me She Was A Woman
• How My Sexuality Changed After My Husband Became My Wife
• My Husband Is Now My Wife. The spouses of transgender people face their own dramatic transformations—only no one celebrates them.
• My Boyfriend Came Out as a Transgender Woman, and We’re Happier than Ever
• Transformers: the unique challenge of changing gender within a relationship
• ” I Want People to Know That There’s Not One Type of Love. There are a Billion Types.”
• Trans Love in the Black Community. Three couples tell their story.
• Answers From the Wife of a Transgender Woman
• How I found out my husband is a woman inside and what happened NeXT
• The loving wife of a crossdresser 
• Podcast about crossdreaming in a relationship
• The wife of a transgender woman has her own transition to make

Books

• Helen Boyd: My Husband Betty
• Helen Boyd: She’s Not The Man I Married
• Diane and Jacob Anderson-Minshall: Queerly Beloved. A Love Story Across Genders
• Virginia Erhardt: Head Over Heels: Wives Who Stay with Cross-Dressers and Transsexuals
• Becky Garrison & Jordon Johnson (ed.): Love, Always: Partners of Trans People on Intimacy, Challenge & Resilience
• Leslie Hilburn Fabian My Husband's a Woman Now: A Shared Journey of Transition and Love
• Jennifer Finney Boylan: Stuck in the Middle with You: A Memoir of Parenting in Three Genders  
• Dr. Eleanor A. Hubbard: Trans-Kin: A Guide for Family and Friends of Transgender People
• Bobbie Thopson: My Husband Looks Better in Lingerie Than I Do ... Damn It
• Alexandra Bogdanovic: Truth Be Told. Adam Becomes Audrey 
• Peggy J. Rudd: My Husband Wears My Clothes: Crossdressing From the Perspective of a Wife
• Mariette Pathy Allen: Transformations: Crossdressers and Those Who Love Them

Other Resources

• 5 Ways to Support a Trans Person Experiencing Body Dysphoria
• My partner/ boyfriend is transgender (Mtf). So what now?
• Identity Shift: When Your Spouse Changes Gender
• Thoughts for partners of trans* People
• Getting With Girls Like Us: A Radical Guide to Dating Trans* Women for Cis Women
• Trans Women + Sex = Awesome
• Fucking Trans Women
• Finding Language for Femme Partners of Trans Men
• 5 Gender-Neutral Alternatives to ‘Boyfriend’ and ‘Girlfriend’
• Spouses, parents, and other family members share overlapping needs

Blogs that are not updated but still useful

• The Sky is Green and the Grass is Blue
  (Significant-Other to Male-to-Female Transsexual Shares Her Story--A Journey to Understanding)
• TransMarried (Blog: “We married in 1966; in 1984, he told me he needed to be a woman. I choose to stay in the marriage.”)
• A trans man’s partner (Blog about a healthy, loving, supportive relationship since Spring 2011 with a sexy, funny, sweet, intelligent, well-dressed, eloquent, amazing man who happens to be transsexual.)
• Gardens in Bloom (Annie and James Rushden were man and wife, until James revealed he was transsexual. Annie writes about the experience of falling in love all over again with her partner Claire.)
• Getting To Me (blog bythe wife of a bisexual crossdresser)

Thanks to king-cobra90 and journeyintomanhood at Tumblr for some of the links.

If you know any other sites, books, blogs or articles for family members of transgender people that should be included, please write a comment below.

Crossdreamer and transgender resource directory
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