Autogynephilia and Stuff
Autogynephilia and Stuff is a blog established by ThinkingAboutGynephilia. "TAG" is an 18 year old man trying to make sense of his life as a crossdreamer.
There is only one post there so far, but that one is definitely worth a read.
Many of my readers will recognize the signs:
"Since I was 12 I've had sexual fantasies of inhabiting a female body. This desire ebbs and flows, it is not consistent, I do not find myself desiring to be a female for the most part of my waking consciousness, and neither do I feel out of place in my male body.
"I cannot, however, becomes sexually aroused unless I imagine myself as a female - even during the brief sexual encounters I've had in my life, for most of them I could only turn myself on by imagining myself as a woman, and having lesbian sex with my partner. I of course, did not tell her this - and for contiguous reasons, the relationship did not last very long; I was scared of intimacy."
He is definitely not mad. The text tells me that this is a very intelligent you man with the spiritual resources needed to handle this mess.
Different? Well, aren't we all!
Please, write more TAG!
This points to something I am also struggling with: To accept the inner woman, while at the same time learning to like the man I have become.
Mirror Sister
Mirror Sister is also written by a male to female crossdreamer, but this one is under control of the female persona: Deborah Kate. This blog is more of the artistic and essayistic kind.
"I crossdream because an important part of me deep down within I identify as feminine," she writes.
"After many years' obfuscation it feels crucial now that I do not belittle Deborah Kate as being merely sexual fantasy or sub-personality. No, I need to assert 'I am Deborah Kate'. That feels good, if slightly scary.
"Yet it's important that I do not disown the masculine elements of my personality as a false front. No, there is much that I hate about my masculine upbringing and standard masculine values, but I have engaged with how I have been educated and regarded and I have developed an authentic masculine personality in response. Certainly not alpha, but not camp either. A personality I rather like, in fact."
"After many years' obfuscation it feels crucial now that I do not belittle Deborah Kate as being merely sexual fantasy or sub-personality. No, I need to assert 'I am Deborah Kate'. That feels good, if slightly scary.
"Yet it's important that I do not disown the masculine elements of my personality as a false front. No, there is much that I hate about my masculine upbringing and standard masculine values, but I have engaged with how I have been educated and regarded and I have developed an authentic masculine personality in response. Certainly not alpha, but not camp either. A personality I rather like, in fact."
This points to something I am also struggling with: To accept the inner woman, while at the same time learning to like the man I have become.
The following paragraphs really touched me:
"Brother, I feel your sadness, your tiredness, your heavy-heartedness.
"Sister, I feel your repression, your awful denial of expression. It's a denial that is continuous through every moment: expression in looks, in words, in movement, in sex. That;'s one hell of a lot of denial. You bear it bravely.
"Now we both feel like hugging each other and crying. A slow tear rolling down a sad face from brother, a big, big, girly sob from me."
"Brother, I feel your sadness, your tiredness, your heavy-heartedness.
"Sister, I feel your repression, your awful denial of expression. It's a denial that is continuous through every moment: expression in looks, in words, in movement, in sex. That;'s one hell of a lot of denial. You bear it bravely.
"Now we both feel like hugging each other and crying. A slow tear rolling down a sad face from brother, a big, big, girly sob from me."
Thanks again, Jack!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Deborah (and Mirror Brother)xx