I am planning a short survey where I ask readers of this blog and the Crossdream Life forum about their lives and ideas.
I would, for instance, like to ask you questions about gender identity, how open you are about your crossdreaming, what you think causes crossdreaming, and how you feel about being (or not being) part of the transgender alliance.
Are there any questions you would like to see included?
Are there any methodological traps I should avoid?
You could add a comment to this post or reply over at Crossdream Life.
Thank you for your help!
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| Photo: Andrey Popov |
Are there any questions you would like to see included?
Are there any methodological traps I should avoid?
You could add a comment to this post or reply over at Crossdream Life.
Thank you for your help!
Hey Jack,
ReplyDeleteGood idea! But maybe you should leave out that question about what we think causes it.. that topic tends to hijack a lot of threads..
Maybe just ask people more about themselves, their lives and how XDing affects it.
I think you should ascertain what percenrage crossdress and if not how do they manage their feelings otherwise. I would also be interested in knowing how many of them have done research on the topic. Very good idea Jack....
ReplyDeleteI am absolutely TERRIFIED of Blanchard's idea of "developmental competition". You know, the idea that erotic interest in CDing will naturally progress to the point where it competes with and overrides all interest in external targets.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a rational fear based on stories i've heard of other CDers gradually losing the ability to perform with wives/girlfriends. So maybe include questions about any perceived progressive loss of erotic interest in other people, or progressive loss of being able to perform without being dressed. I would really like to know a personal history on those who had crossdreaming interests take a measurable toll on external ones, so I could learn how to potentially avoid it.
(BTW I am not endorsing blanchards theory as a whole, I am just saying I think this particular aspect needs to be studied)
@ SamZ
ReplyDeleteThat is probably good advice, and I may stick to that. However, some are probably going to interpret that as me trying "to suppress the truth" or something to that effect.
@Joanna
Yes, I will definitely ask about crossdressing. I might also make use of Jaimie Veale's question on reading transgender fiction.
@Danny
Yes, I might include a question to that effect.
Since I believe that crossdreaming is an expression of some kind of fundamental sexuality and/or identity (which is, ironically, what Blanchard believes too, in a way), I doubt that this actually is a struggle between crossdreaming and traditional heterosexual impulses. In other words: if we are not born crossdreamers, these are at least patterns laid down very early in life. The question is what we do about them.
There is much diversity here, but from what my crossdreamer friends tell me there are three ways of coping with the scenario you present above.
1. You may integrate your crossdreaming into your sex life, if that is possible. If your girlfriend/partner/wife accepts you as you are, and you both are able to include this aspect of your soul into your love life, that may alone reduce the intensity of the out-of-bed sexual fantasies. I know this from my own experience. However, I see that this is not always an option.
2. In the severely gender dysphoric this will often not be enough. Many trans women report crossdreaming as one of many expressions of their dysphoria. Crossdreaming is an expression of their inner gender identity, and since they cannot change that identity, they cannot stop the crossdreaming either. It is what it is, and for many, the obsessive nature of these fantasies does not subside until they transition (with or without surgery).
3. If the crossdreaming is relatively weak and there is no gender dysphoria, some say they are able to handle this by avoiding crossdressing and/or TG erotica.
Jack,
ReplyDeleteIf the survey is entirely in the context of "inner gender identity" narrative, you will probably lose some participants. It is hard to serve all viewpoints though so I don't see that as a problem.
I have been thinking lately about how you use the term "integrate" often in discussion coping. I find that to be a very appropriate word but what is interesting is I don't see what I am integrating, that is making me feel better in general, is at all gendered. Not particularly masculine or feminine. It is like most any expression of myself that is from my heart and desires is great medicine for the anxiety and self confidence issues I have lived with all my life. As time goes by, I care less about "why" or what I am and focus more on enjoying life. I still don't buy the whole "inner women thing, but the whole questions matters less and less to me.
@koala
ReplyDeleteI won't use one explanation for crossdreaming as a starting point for this questionnaire, that's for sure.
My usage of the word "integrate" has its root in a dynamic understanding of the psyche, as you have noticed. I believe facing, understanding and accepting hidden sides of our psyche makes us stronger, happier, more whole. This also applies to sexuality and gender identity.
For me the term "inner woman" is simply shorthand for whatever it is that causes us to crossdream. The fantasies are definitely "gendered". Whether what causes them can be considered "gendered" is another matter.
I am definitely not buying the essentialist idea of trans women having a female brain encompassing all stereotypes of female gender behavior and interests. So maybe we are not as far apart as it may seem.
I think you are right about not being that far apart.
ReplyDeleteI really need to find the time and privacy to read through your posts on Jung.
I don't know whether this would fit, but as a trans womon frustrated with the male privilege and male socialization arguments, I'd like to see some comparison of the rates of violence and other abuse against trans girls, non-binary kids, and cis boys.
ReplyDeleteMarja Erwin
@Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteWe will definitely consider including a question on harassment. Have you seen the report from the US transgender discrimination survey?
http://transequality.org/PDFs/Executive_Summary.pdf
Maybe some questions about at what age we started to realize that this is who we are, about tips we have for those who are struggling that helped us when we were/are struggling, what we feel society tells us about our 'roles' vs. how we define our roles... Just some thoughts. I guess those are questions I'd like to see how other people respond to because it would be beneficial to me and my CDing issues. Thank you for all your work! You're making a big difference for those of us with daunting questions.
ReplyDeleteMaybe some questions about at what age we started to realize that this is who we are, about tips we have for those who are struggling that helped us when we were/are struggling, what we feel society tells us about our 'roles' vs. how we define our roles... Just some thoughts. I guess those are questions I'd like to see how other people respond to because it would be beneficial to me and my CDing issues. Thank you for all your work! You're making a big difference for those of us with daunting questions.
ReplyDelete@dear-ebony-rose
ReplyDeleteThank you for a constructive comment!
We did include a question about the age we started realizing who we are.
We did not include questions about how people cope, however, as they would have made this questionnaire too long. But we may come back to this in a later survey.
The survey is up now. Make your voice heard!